Divorce Advice for Men
Divorce Advice for Men
So, you are getting divorced. And while there is plenty of advice out there for women, how about some divorce tips for men? Divorce is going to be tough! Both emotionally and financially. Your happy ever after has turned out to be not so happy, or ever after. Coming to terms with this will be hard for both of you – regardless of who made this decision. It’s also tough on those around you- your family and friends. With Divorce Tool Box, we offer divorce help for men.
Kids Come First
The welfare and happiness of your children is paramount. Planning in advance of how to tell the children is so important. If possible, sitting down together to break the news to them may be helpful to you and the children. Also, remember that no matter how old they are or how bad things have been in the family home, this is likely to be a major shock for them. So, you are getting divorced. And while there is plenty of advice out there for women, how about some divorce tips for men? Divorce is going to be tough! Both emotionally and financially. Your happy ever after has turned out to be not so happy, or ever after. Coming to terms with this will be hard for both of you –
It’s not uncommon for children to feel that they are to blame for a parental split. Reassure them that this is not their fault and they are still loved by both of you. Be open about the situation without negativity. If you are the parent that will be moving from the marital home and the children are remaining with your former spouse, ease their anxiety by making plans to see them often. Let the children see you on good terms with each other, regardless of what is occurring behind closed doors.
How can you Effectively Co-Parent?
Think about what situations the primary care-giver will encounter and plan in advance how to reduce stress not only for them but also the children. Single-parenting is tough and not a choice of parenting style that you had planned.
How can you co-parent effectively to make life easier on each other and your kids? A few considerations may be: Can you coordinate school pick-ups/drop-offs a couple of days a week? Will you have the kids’ alternate weekends? What about holidays and sick days?
Another example of effective co-parenting is learning to compromise. Perhaps Easter is especially important to your spouse and his/her family, but not so much to yours. Perhaps your extended family takes an annual vacation each summer and you would like the children to join you on this trip. An effective compromise would be that Easter is always shared with the parent that treasures this holiday with the children while allowing the annual family vacation to occur with the other parent.
Be open concerning custody and division of parental time with the children by learning to plan ahead. We offer many examples of custody and parenting time in addition to more divorce tips for men in our Divorce Tool Box.
Keep things Amicable
This will save you and your spouse some heartache in the long run, not to mention cash! If you can agree on what each of you will take away from the marriage between yourselves, without involving lawyers every step of the way, you will save yourselves a lot of time, money and stress!
If divorce is something that you are sure you both want and there is 100% no coming back from this, then start proceedings sooner rather than later. Failing to act will mean that any change in circumstances further down the line may be considered when filing for divorce eventually occurs.
Perhaps one of you will obtain a major promotion at work, or receive a family inheritance of cash or property. While you may have been separated for years, are you still viewed as legally married by the court after all of this time? If this is the case, leaving a separation to drag on for years may financially cost you dearly. There are many things that affect separation and divorce that may not seem obvious when dealing with the stress of a failing marriage. This is why we help you navigate the process and offer a program that provides divorce advice for men.
Moving on…
Take time to settle into your new life before rushing into dating new people. When you decide it is time to meet someone new – be respectful to your ex-spouse.
Give your former spouse the courtesy of letting them know before they hear it from someone else especially if you still have contact with them through ongoing parenting. It may also be a good idea to wait until the relationship is stable and long term before introducing the children. Lessening anxiety and the fear of another loss is imperative.
Offer your former spouse the opportunity to meet the person who will be spending time with their kids. He/she may not take you up on the offer, but at least you provided the opportunity. However, the kids are going to be spending time with both parents and it’s important that you are both satisfied they are happy and safe when they are away from you.
Take it easy!
Most of all, go easy on yourself! Spend some time focusing on you for a while. You’ve likely been through a lot and may have had to move out of your home while adjusting to other changes. Grab dinner, watch the game, and catch up with friends you may have neglected over the years.
Take up a hobby: old or new. Perhaps during your marriage, you didn’t devote as much time to those things you enjoy such as golfing, fishing, and hiking trips.
Perhaps you always wanted to take a class, but didn’t feel like you could take time out before. Go do it!
Learn to fill your time with events and people you love and watch as a new world begins to unfold for you.
To find more divorce help for men, view our Divorce Tool Box online sessions today. We offer two programs: Divorcing with Children and Divorcing Without Children.
I Have an Attorney. Do I Need Divorce Tool Box?
It’s true that your attorney is an integral part of your divorce team. But to represent your interests and those of your children well, your legal professional needs information and perspective only you can provide. This can be difficult if you are emotionally overwhelmed or intimidated by the divorce process. Divorce Tool Box helps you get the most out of your attorney-client relationship by:
- HELPING YOU TO COPE BETTER.
Divorce Tool Box can help you set aside some of the emotional issues for a time in order to focus on the important decisions at hand. The emotional pitfalls of divorce decision-making may be beyond what your attorney is prepared to discuss, regardless of his or her legal expertise.
- HIGHLIGHTING QUESTIONS YOUR ATTORNEY WILL BE ASKING IN ADVANCE.
If you know the issues which will be decided in your divorce, you can give careful consideration to your wishes and needs before you meet with your legal professional, helping you to communicate with clarity and make the most of your time.
- GUIDING YOU THROUGH THE DRAFTING OF A DIVORCE ACTION PLAN.
By putting in writing the key financial and practical information, along with the goals and needs you have identified as priorities for your family, you will enable your attorney to work more efficiently, saving time and money.
- HELPING YOU TO TAKE A PROACTIVE APPROACH.
Our proactive approach to divorce planning has been recognized by professionals from a variety of fields as the best way to cope with what divorce brings. We help you stay in control of your divorce, providing future security for your children and yourself.
How Does Divorce Tool Box Work?
Divorce Tool Box is helpful to both men and women at any stage of the divorce process who desire to achieve the best, most beneficial settlement for themselves and their families.
After purchasing the version of Divorce Tool Box which best fits your needs, you will be given access to a 60-day subscription to the sessions included. You can find a more detailed description of the session content and session previews here: Divorcing With Children or Divorcing Without Children.
- WATCH ON ANY DEVICE, AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT.
Work at your convenience and your own pace. Why is this so important? Because it can be challenging—both professionally and financially—to take enough time away from work to learn everything in a one-on-one professional setting. Divorce Tool Box allows you to work toward your goals in a less expensive and disruptive way.
- GET ORGANIZED AND PREPARED.
As you watch, you will be prompted to take notes and gather documents, becoming organized as you go and making decisions along the way. When you have completed the sessions, you will be prepared to complete your downloadable Divorce Action Plan Template, which helps you assess and prioritize needs for both yourself and your children, and create a Divorce Action Plan. Your completed Divorce Action Plan can provide a sense of control in the midst of great change and uncertainty.
- BECOME A VITAL PART OF YOUR DIVORCE TEAM.
After creating your Divorce Action Plan, you will be better equipped to partner with your legal or counseling professional to achieve your goals. If you are pursuing your divorce on a pro se basis by representing yourself, you will have considered the essential questions necessary to craft a divorce proposal.
Which program is right for you?
Divorcing with Children (8 Modules)Divorcing without Children (4 Modules)
Divorce Tool Box for Professionals
What is Divorce Tool Box?
Divorce Tool Box is a web-based video series designed to help men and women navigate the emotional, financial and child-related challenges of divorce. By watching the video sessions in the privacy and comfort of your home, you gain practical knowledge about what to expect and how to partner with your legal professional(s) to pursue a settlement agreement that meets your needs.
Audrey Silcox, Founder of Divorce Tool Box, observed that most come to the divorce process under significant emotional strain, and lacking necessary information about the mental health, custodial, and financial challenges ahead. She realized that people could reduce the negative emotional and financial impact of divorce if they entered into the process with more information, better prepared, and with the knowledge to express their personal needs once they have identified them.
Using Divorce Tool Box allows you to benefit from her years of experience and avoid some of the potential pitfalls of negotiating your divorce settlement without thoughtful preparation. It’s true what they say: knowledge is power.
- LEARN HOW TO COPE.
Divorce affects every area of life and has been noted as the second most stressful event a person can face. Divorce Tool Box helps you handle the stress and emotional impact of a difficult transition.
- CHOOSE THE RIGHT TOOLS FOR THE JOB.
Choose the version of our program that best meets your needs: Divorcing With Children (8 Sessions) or Divorcing Without Children (4 Sessions).
- BECOME EDUCATED ABOUT KEY ISSUES.
Learn about the financial, custodial and co-parenting issues that will likely be decided in your divorce agreement—some that are obvious, and some that are frequently overlooked. We offer divorce advice for men and divorce advice for women.
- DEVELOP CONFIDENCE THROUGH PREPARATION.
Whether filing contested or uncontested, Divorce Tool Box can help you be prepare for your divorce and to begin working with your legal professional. If filing pro se (representing yourself), gain the peace of knowing that you have addressed the most essential issues that will affect your family post-divorce.
- LEARN WHERE TO BEGIN.
Understand the divorce process better, including how to make important decisions regarding your future in the midst of considerable stress.
